Ah, the Isle of Mull—a breathtaking Scottish gem with rugged coastlines, majestic eagles, and… oh yes, the dreaded midge. These minuscule menaces may be smaller than a grain of sand, but they have the collective power to turn a peaceful hike into a frantic slap-dance. If you’ve ever visited Mull between May and September, you’ll know that midges don’t just bite—they haunt.
Meet the Mull Midge: Nature’s Tiny Tormentor
The Highland midge (Culicoides impunctatus, if you want to get fancy) is a tiny flying insect with a Napoleon complex. Measuring just 1-2mm, these wee beasties travel in swarms so thick they’ve been known to:
- Make grown adults weep.
- Cause tourists to question their life choices.
- Occasionally be mistaken for Scottish weather (they do love a still, damp day).
How to Avoid Becoming a Midge Buffet
1. Timing is Everything
Midge activity peaks at dawn and dusk, especially on still, humid days. If you can, plan outdoor activities for midday when there’s a breeze.
2. Dress Like a Beekeeper (But Make It Fashion)
- Midge Nets – The ultimate face-saving accessory. Sure, you’ll look like a ghost from a low-budget horror film, but at least you won’t be inhaling midges.
- Lightweight, Long-Sleeved Clothing – Midges are lazy and prefer exposed skin. Deny them the pleasure.
- Light-Colored Clothing – Dark colors attract them (they’re basically the goths of the insect world).
3. The Legendary Avon Skin So Soft
Yes, the beauty product that became an accidental midge repellent. Scottish locals and British Marines swear by it. The original dry oil spray isn’t officially a repellent, but something about its scent makes midges think twice.
4. Actual Insect Repellents (For the Hardcore)
- Smidge – A Scottish-made repellent that actually works.
- DEET-based sprays – The heavy artillery. Effective, but may also dissolve your watch strap.
5. Wind = Your Best Friend
Midges are terrible fliers. A slight breeze sends them packing. If you’re camping, position yourself where the wind can work its magic. A portable fan can help create your own breeze when nature doesn’t cooperate.
6. Avoid Standing Water (Midge Nurseries)
Bogs, marshes, and damp grass are midge maternity wards. Steer clear unless you fancy being a midge baby shower guest. If you must be near water, midge coils can help create a protective smoke barrier.
Bonus: Midge Myths Debunked
- “Eating Marmite keeps them away.” – Sadly, no. But you’ll have the breath of a yeast monster, so… silver lining?
- “Whisky repels midges.” – Drinking it won’t help, but spraying it might (waste of good whisky though).
- “Smoke keeps them at bay.” – Partially true. A campfire helps, but you’ll just smell like a smoked sausage.
Final Thoughts: Embrace the Battle
The midge may be Mull’s most persistent resident, but with the right gear and attitude, you can outsmart the swarm. Invest in a good midge net, stock up on Avon Skin So Soft, and remember—every midge bite is just a wee Scottish souvenir.
